Am I asexual?

This brief blog presents you a quiz that has been developed by us that can help you determine whether you are asexual or not.

We will also discuss what asexuality is, debunk common myths surrounding asexuality, and how relationships play out when the partners are ace.

Am I an asexual? Quiz

This test will be answering the question if you have the sexual preference of not being with another person or other kinds of people for that matter. You can access this test here

The following are questions that can give you an insight if you have this sexual preference in life. 

Don’t you have any crushes in life?

Yes – 0

No – 1

Have people ever commented some reassurance to you that you need to have sex such as “Maybe you’ll like it once you’ve tried it”?

Yes – 1

No – 0

Do you avoid watching sexualized content?

Yes – 1

No – 0

Do you find yourself free from sexual fantasies?

Yes – 1

No – 0

Do you find sexual situations in different kinds of media such as books or TV exciting?

Yes – 0

No – 1

Have you engaged in masturbation once or more?

Yes – 0

No – 1

Do you get excited when exposed with sexual situations whether you are fantasizing about it or being flirted by the preferred sex?

Yes – 0 

No – 1

Do you believe that you should engage in friendship first before a relationship almost all the time?

Yes – 1

No – 0

Do you feel attracted to people who are considered attractive?

Yes – 0

No – 1

Would you consider celibacy or absence or less sex?

Yes – 1

No – 0

Total score criteria:

6-10 points – asexual

4-5 points – sometimes asexual, sometimes other sexual orientation

0-3 points – not asexual

What is Asexuality?

Asexuality or “Ace” is a sexual orientation where someone who is asexual doesn’t experience sexual attraction and/or doesn’t desire sexual contact. 

An asexual person can be straight, gay, bisexual or queer and may or may not identify as LGBTQ. 

Someone who is an asexual can still be physically, emotionally, mentally and/

or spiritually attracted to someone, date, fall in love and/or get married, even if they

don’t have sex, don’t like sex or don’t want to have sex. 

It is with the advent of social media that many young people have come out as asexual but this does not mean that this is a “new” sexuality- asexuality like the other forms of sexuality have been around for a long time. 

Social media has enabled young people to connect and find other asexual young people and build a community for themselves. 

While Asexual people typically don’t experience sexual attraction or want to pursue sexual relationships with other people they may engage in sexual activities with their partners based on a compromise or masturbate quite frequently. 

What are the signs that indicate asexuality?

Here are a few signs that indicate that you might ve asexual:

  • You’re not interested in sex or have not much of an interest in engaging in sexual activity. You might have tried to be intimate with others but did not get aroused.  
  • Other people don’t turn you on even if you have the ability to experience sexual desire and masturbate, it is not in respnsed to another person. 
  • You don’t relate to other people’s sexuality and feel alienated when people talk about desire. You might not understand why people are so riled up by sex and attraction towards others. 
  • The label resonates with you and though thre is not offical test or criteria for you to base your sexuality on, if the definition of being asexual resonates to your experience there is a possibility of you being asexual. 

What are asexual relationships like?

One popular misconception is that asexual people can’t fall in love, this misconception is entirely false and a result of ignorance of what sexual orientation is. 

If someone’s sexual orientaton is asexual this does not mean that their romantic orientation is the same. A person who is asexual can definently fall inlive because sex does not euqal love. 

Aseual people cna have healthy romantic relaitonships with healthy and satisifduing sexual lives with their partners if they are able to communicate and respect each other’s needs and boundaries well. 

Asexual relationships are as normal as any other relationships and it takes work, like other relaitosnhips, to make it successful or atleast achieve a healthy level of intimacy and care. 

How to make an asexual relationship work?

Here are a few things you can do to make your relationship work if you or your partner is aseuxal.

Change your mindset.

If you or your partner are asexual and have recently realised it or come to terms with it, it is important that both of you are able to change your perspectives on relationships and seuality. 

Changing your beliefs about sex and realtionships or even love and applying it to your context is important to make the realtionship work. 


For example, if you and your partner uses sex to experience intimacy and valdation and realize that it does nto work for either of you, it is time to consider a change in understanding of what intimacy is and come up with different ways to validate each other.

Agree on a minimum number of times to have sex per week.

Healthy communication is very important to establish each other’s needs. If you and your partner has decided to make things work and sex is a need for your non-asexual partner, talking about each other’s needs can be a start of setting boundaries. 

In this discussion, you and your partner need to explore the weight sex has on the sense of unity and connection within the relationship and chaning perspectives about sex and intimacy. 

This must be followed by Coming up with a minimum number of times sex will take place can help ensure that sex is still satisfactorily maintained for the other person if the asexual person is okay with it because there are aseuxal people who still engage in sex. 

Don’t pressure your partner.

Putting too much pressure on your asexual  partner to have sex can actually drive them away. 

While you and your partner might have discuss possible times to have sex in a week, it might be stressful for your asexual partner if you force or push them to do it. 

It is important that both partners wait and be patient as the realtionship evolves and wait for your asexual partner to respond to your need for sex. 

And if your asexual partner does not want to enagage in sexual acitites, it could be time for you and your partner to consider other forms of relationships such as an open relationship, or part ways.

Masturbate.

Another thing that you and your non-asexual person can do it to mastubate-individually or together since some asexual people do endage in masturbation. Working together to make this particular sexual expeirce pleasurable and sharable between the two of you can be an achievable milestone for your relationship. 

Find other ways to be intimate.

There are many ways to cultivate closeness and intimacy aside from sex since people ahve various desires and needs, it is important that you and your partner can learn to be intimate without sex. 

Some of the ways you can do that are intimate and deep kissing, massages without expectations, or simply spending time looking at each other and expressing love and appreciation on a regular basis with your partner can be a great way to develop intimacy. 

There is no hard and fast rule about how to make relationships work including asexual ones. The best you and your partner can do is to be opne and communicate needs while trying to meet each other in the middle.

Conclusion:

This brief blog presented you a quiz that has been developed by us that can help you determine whether you are asexual or not.

We havel also discussed what asexuality is, debunk common myths surrounding asexuality, and how relationships play out when the partners are ace.

References:

I Think I Might Be Asexual. Advocates for youth. Retrieved on 3rd Dec 2021. https://advocatesforyouth.org/wp-content/uploads/2019/03/ITIMB-ACE.pdf

Weiss. S. What Does Asexual Mean? 4 Signs & Considerations To Know If You’re Ace. Mindbodygreen. Retrieved on 3rd Dec, 2021

https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/asexual-meaning-and-how-to-know-if-youre-ace

Khoo. I. How To Make A Relationship Work If Your Partner Is Asexual.Huffpost.

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/asexual-partner_n_610874f9e4b0497e67026c15

FAQ about Am I asexual?

Do you come out if you’re asexual?

People who identify as asexual experience little or no sexual attraction to others and if you think you are an asexual, you cna choose if you want to come out or not. It is completely your choice. 

Are Asexuals sexually active?

Many asexuals do have sex, even if they aren’t sexually attracted to their partner.

Do asexuals want to kiss?

Asexual people experience attraction and have desires, while others might not at all. Asexuals who experience desires can engage in intimate acts and often enjoy intimate activities like cuddling and kissing and being in romantic relationships.

What does Graysexual really mean?

Graysexuality, also known as gray asexuality, gray-a, gray-ace, or grey-ace, is a term to describe people who identify as asexual but don’t fit into the main types of asexuality.

People who identify as grasexual experience sexual attraction very rarely, or with very low intensity.

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