Am I Straight? (17+ A Complete Guide)

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This article will take a look at what it means to be straight and how one can figure out whether they are straight or not. The article will also discuss various terms that are associated with the topic as well as the difference between sex and gender. Finally, the article will also shed light on why some people may decide to change their gender or sexual orientation.

Am I Straight – How To Tell?

You are straight if you are attracted to people of the opposite sex or gender. However, sometimes we go through different phases or experiences of life that may confuse us and hence we think we might be queer. To be queer means to be attracted to people of the same sex or gender. Such a person can also be called a homosexual, gay or lesbian and they may not even dress or behave according to their own sex but according to the opposite gender to increase their chances of being with someone of the same ‘community’.

How To Tell If You Are Straight – Or Not?

Here are some ways to figure out if you are straight:

  • Attraction
  • Behaviour
  • Hidden Signs – Dreams
  • Too Much Socialization
  • Comfort Levels

Although these are not scientific ways to judge whether or not you are straight, they can come in handy and are discussed below!


If you are attracted to people of the same gender then there is a high probability that you are not straight but actually gay or lesbian. This is a red flag that points out you are not straight. Attraction can mean you are aroused or feel a desire to be with someone; it can also mean you are infatuated by them or have a strong liking to them. Nonetheless, if it is not the opposite sex or gender you are attracted to then be clear you are likely to be anything but straight!


Another strong indicator that you are straight is that you act like your own gender or sex. So if you are a man, you will behave like one. This can be naturally occurring behaviour that comes from genes or hormones such as being slightly more competitive or aggressive than females. It can also arise from the social norms that surround male masculinity. 

However, if you behave or act like a person from the opposite gender then this could mean you are not straight. This is often observed in society where you will see a male who dresses like a woman and even wears makeup. They not only make their appearance such but also behave similarly; they will use hand gestures that women use or act in a girlish way. This is a strong indicator that they are not straight but actually gay and want to be with men.

Hidden Signs – Dreams

Dreams are a great way to see what is actually going on in your unconscious or subconscious mind. Sometimes we are stressed out about something to the extent that we become oblivious and that something simmers way back into our unconscious mind so our sanity is protected. However, we see these stressful things in our dreams. 

Nowadays and since long, coming out as gay or lesbian was seen not only transgressing the bounds of society, culture and religion but also as a mental disorder; the people who expressed their sexual oritentation as anything but straight were actually considrred abnormal by psychologists before.

Since then and even now, people are still scared to come out but things have changed. So, in many instances, if you live in such a society where it is still wrong to come out then it is likely your mind has registered that and numbed the feeling; however you may see signs in your dreams that point to you being anything but straight!

Too Much Socialization

Sometimes our parents and the society hide things from us even if those things are directly related to our own body or mind. In our young age, parents can tell what type of people we may become by observing our behaviour. In some cases, parents may suspect that their child is not straight and because of social, religious and cultural pressures they may suppress this behaviour in their children by over socializing them; if their child is a girl by birth then they will try very hard to make her be and feel like a girl so her attraction to the same gender is discouraged.

Look out for your parents behaving in this way; it could point to something!

Comfort Levels

If you feel very comfortable with the opposite gender but not so comfortable with the same gender then this could be a sign that you are not straight!

The Difference Between Sex & Gender

The difference between sex and gender is that sex refers to the physical and biological characteristics of people that includes their reproductive organs, hormones, chromosomes and so on whereas the term gender is abstract in nature and refers to the socially constructed terms of male and female. Some people argue that gender is inseparable from sex which means your sex determines gender however many people now argue against that. The debate is a hot one!

A person who the male sex is someone who has high levels of tesosterone in their body as well as the male reproductive organs which include the penis and scrotum. However, if they are male by gender then this means that they adopt those norms and values that the society has deemed masculine such as being the breadwinner and protecting or leading the household.

Why Do People Identify With Different Genders Or Become Attracted To The Same Gender?

In this section, we will take a look at some possible reasons as to why people identify with different genders or become homosexual in nature.

Accepting Yourself

The first reason why people may identify as a different gender is because that is how they truly are. They may be a man but they actually feel like a woman or they may be a woman but they do not get that entire feminine feeling other women experience. As a society and possibly as a species, we are comfortable with things being in black and white; if we need a response then we need it in either a ‘Yes’ or ‘No – anything in between confuses us. If we want to know who is right we do not want to get into the complexities or accept the fact that both sides in a fight may actually be right especially if they are looking at things from their own angle.

Similarly, if we are assigned a female gender at birth then we expect that this specific person will feel like a woman their entire life. However, keeping in mind how complex this world is, it should not be surprising if someone feels this way and decides to acknowledge it.

It is also the case that once you begin to feel this way then your sexual orientation may change accordingly.

A Defense Mechanism

Just as the world is complex, so is our body and hence we sometimes engage in very odd or strange behaviours to deal with stress or anxiety. We may become an entirely different person compared to who we were before!

In this case, it is possible someone may identify as a woman even though they are a man because they are unable to deal with the stresses of being a man in their culture, society or nation. They may be disgusted by what men or women in their society do and hence they will associate with the opposite gender.

Thus, identifying as a demiwoman or demiman can also be a defense mechanism that has deeper reasons rather than just feeling a certain way.

This defense mechanism can also affect our sexual orientation and not just our feelings.

Bad Experiences

Sometimes we have bad experiences with people of the other gender and because society has put so many restrictions on us we find ways to evade our problems and create a better world for our own selves. Many times, men and women have a hard time in relationships with the other gender; they may be ghosted, cheated on or divorced despite being a good partner. 

The blow they receive from such an experience may be so devastating that they either begin to hate the other gender or their own gender; afterall, in such situations you need to blame someone because this is human nature. Thus, they may decide to identify as a new gender to avoid being with people of a certain gender or get the chance to be with people that are associated with the gender this specific person was previously associated with.

A Mental Disorder

In the past, feeling something like this was considered a mental disorder despite the fact that what people felt may have definitely been genuine. Sometimes we become the prey of serious mental conditions that affect how we behave or think. In some cases, people may begin hearing or seeing things that do not exist. In serious cases people have even begun speaking different languages. In other cases they may have adopted various personalities at the same time or an entirely different one. Although there is nothing wrong with such behaviours if they were naturally occurring, they are not appropriate because they are the result of a mental disorder. So for example, there is nothing wrong with speaking a different language but if it occurs because of a mental disorder then there is an issue.

Similarly, one effect that a mental disorder may have on our body and mind is that we do not feel like we used to before in terms of the gender we are usually associated with.


This article took a look at how someone can tell if they are straight as well as what it means to be straight. Furthermore, the article shed light on the difference between gender and sex and why some people become attracted to the same gender.



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