What are Enneagram Type 9 relationships like?

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This blog post will explore what Enneagram type 9 relationships look like, what are the various types that are compatible with type 9.

We will also briefly discuss what a type 9’s characteristics are and what is an Enneagream. 

What are Enneagram Type 9 relationships like?

Here are some characteristics of what a relationship with a Type 9 is like or how Type 9s behave in relationships:

Type nines tend to be the peacekeeper within the relationship because they care a lot about having a harmonious and peaceful relationship with people in their lives. 

They tend to avoid conflict and discord due to which they will do everything they can to keep the peace, even if that means stepping down or setting aside their wants and needs for that of other people which can be dangerous and unhealthy at times.

They are very nurturing partners that are accepting and supportive of their partners strengths and challenges. They do not judge their partners nor are they critical instead they are accommodating to the needs and limitations of their partners. 

Because of their nature to seek out internal and external peace, they tend to avoid drama and conflict in their relationships meaning that they will avoid relationships that have a lot of things going on or are not in harmony with their own values. 

They naturally know how to ease tensions with their partners and make their partners comfortable around them. Meaning that they can care for their partners when stressed or under stress. 

They are very warm and patient towards their partners and strive to make their partners feel loved and cared for even if that means going out of their way to make an environment within the relationship that makes them feel as such. 

They are driven to make their partner happy and dislike when this person feels upset or uncomfortable so they tend to work hard to create situations where their partner is comfortable. 

They are big givers which makes them give their partners, their time, effort, material support etc- anything they can give, they will give.

They are very intuitive people who are emotionally aware and can often sense when their significant other is troubled and needs support, and respond in ways that provide their support and ease. 

They also tend to make their romantic relationships and their partners a big part of their lives if they sense it to be fulfilling and rewarding. 

They are also extremely passionate and at times tend to be carried away by their emotions when it comes to love, often making their partners the main priority that can cause them to have some shortcomings in other aspects of their life. 

What are the challenges of a Type 9 in relationships?

Some of the challenges that Type 9 faces in relationships include:

Type 9’s tendencies to avoid conflict and their general dislike towards discord and strive can cause some problems in relationships because conflict and discord tend to be effective tools and paths towards learning about each other’s needs and finding ways to effectively meet those needs.

They mind avoid conflict and find ways to keep things calm and neutral which might affect the relationship when there are issues to be worked out through conflict since conflict is not necessarily a bad or negative thing. 

They are too much of a giver to the point where they might overlook their own needs for that of their partner. 

They tend to avoid addressing struggles as a way to avoid discord which can make their partner feel like they are sweeping things under the rug or make their partner feel unheard which can further cause tensions. 

They can also become too complacent and not stand up for themselves when the need arises even within their relationships because of their need to keep the peace. This can cost them their needs and wants. 

They might also develop resentment because they tend to go with what other people want most of the time as a way to keep the peace- this can make them feel unfulfilled and unappreciated in their relationships, 

What is an Enneagram Type 9?

The Enneagram Type 9, also known as “The Peacemaker,” one of the 9 types of the Ennageram types. 

They are usually people who are patient and understanding. They are individuals who like and enjoy harmony internally as well as externally- with their significant relationship and the world around them. 

They are extremely peaceful and tend to be accepting and trusting of other people. They are also creative and optimistic about the world and their challenges while also being a supportive figure in the lives of others.

They tend to avoid conflict and discord which might make them too complacent, simplify problems too easily, and minimise things that upset them- which might get in their way to deal with their problems effectively as well as lead them to neglect thesleevs. 

They also tend to be stubborn and have a fear of loss- loss of people in their lives, things, events, etc. They are especially good at bringing people together and tend to be the glue that holds their groups together as well as heal conflicts. 

What is the compatibility of Type 9 with other types?

Let us take a look at the compatible relationships of type 9 with all the other types:

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram One

Type Nines with Type Ones work well together in the sense that they are both givers and generous ones at that. 

They gain satisfaction by giving efforts to others which can work well in a relationship if they are both giving equally to each other. 

They do well in letting stress go when they are together, to emotionally support each other, as well as accept each other with equal grace and wual measure without relying to fix each other. 

However, there is a danger where both types might begin to react passively towards each other with passive aggression due to unmet needs, wants etc but this can be resolved by clearly communicating with each other about their problems, and their dissatisfaction with upost honesty. 

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Two

Type Nine with Type Two an easy going and endearing pair where they are both obviously considerate towards each other as well as silently being present and supportive for each other. 

They tend to be very warm and caring towards each other and also tend to be compatible in the way they set boudanires because Type nine is more withdrawn, two can set boundaries that work for both of them. 

Type two tends to be very thoughtful of their partners which can make type nine, the self-sacrificing one, to be seen, heard, cared for, and treated as special and important which is needed for them to flourish. 

Problems arise when they fail to communicate openly and honestly even when they are serving each other. 

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Three

Enneagram Type Nines and Type Threes balance each other out because of their differing values. 

Type three’s quick to problem solve can be complementary to the slow nature of Nine and the colouple can get good work done in a fun way as soon as they are able to make the minor details of collaborating, acceptance work. 

The couple thrives when each individual knows the needs of themselves and the other and often enjoy spending time with each other and work best when collaborating on passion projects provided that they are able to communicate well. 

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Four

This pair complements each other’s characteristics- the idealistic Four and the practical Nine. This makes them suited for an interesting life together where they must learn to make their own time and allow each other to withdraw when needed. 

This means that each individual must know what makes the other tick and what the other individual needs to strike a balance. 

When the couple feels exhausted, they will need to work on communicating their emotions and their feelings to work out differences and manage them. 

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Five

Type Nines and Type Fives share a deep and respectful understanding of their withdrawing natures. 

The characteristic of five to scrutinise the relationship and the comfort and security of nine can help sustain the relationships and lead each type to turn to the other for support.

However, there is trouble when it comes to meeting needs since both tend to be practical, they must make an effort to meet the needs of the relationship- emotional needs. 

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Six

Type Nines and Type Sixes have much in common musch can make them highly compatible. 

Six provides courage to the nine whereas nine provides a space for rest to the six which can help each other grow together as well as independently. 

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Seven 

This pair shares optimism and positivity in their outlook in general which can help each pair feel motivated and driven. 

However, problems can arise when the seven tend to forget prioritising the relationship which can cause resentment and passive aggression from the nine; this can be resolved by communication before either of the pair is left stuck and distressed. 

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Eight 

As a couple, these two types are most compatible when spending time together- especially time of rest. 

As partners they will work well in creatively developing new ideas and starting new projects and their chemistry is what brings out excitement.

However, their dreams and ideals might not be compatible, however this can be resolved logically and with effort to communicate their needs assertively to each other instead of withdrawing. 

Enneagram Nine With Enneagram Nine 

The type of relationship between two Nines, is sweet and charming in ways that it is gentle and quiet.

However,they might find it difficult to share each other’s feelings. However, they are able to show love through acts of service while being considerate of each other’s needs, wants, likes. 

However, because they are both stubborn and resistant they might find the relationship draining when there is no effective communication. 

What is an Enneagram?

The Enneagram is a categorization system of personality types. This system is based on how individuals interpret the world and manage their emotions, as well as how they behave as a response. 

The Enneagram, describes 9 different enneagram of personality types and these types are plotted on a map or diagram that illustrates how each personality type interacts and responds to each other.

The exact origin of the Enneagram is unknown but it is assumed to have roots in ancient Babylon and also has traces of it in Greek philosophy 2500 years ago. 

This particular model of personality has been attributed to the Jewish Kabbalah, Christian mysticism and a mystical form of Islam, Sufism. However, the modern Enneagram system is the work of contemporary authors. Georg Ivanovich Gurdjieff who introduced the model in the 1930s as a spiritual symbol. 

According to the Enneagram, these types are defined by a core belief about how their world works and it is these beliefs that influence their world view, their motivation, and their perspectives about themselves, the world, and other people. 

These core beliefs are personal and individual to each type and while it can help us understand how each type reacts and responds to the world, it can also be limiting.

These beliefs motivate them to take particular actions and guide their decisions making. It also can help people understand how each type reacts to stress, how they adapt and respond to various situations. 

These core beliefs tend to be enforced by how each individual grows into adulthood, and each type is influenced by biological factors as well as impacted by environmental influences-such as family dynamics or parental relationships.

No one number or type is better than another as it is a horizontal system in spite of numbers being used and each individual may relate to more than one type and resonate with different traits depending on their station and experiences of life and overall levels of health.


This blog post has explored what Enneagram type 9 relationships look like, what are the various types that are compatible with type 9.

We have also briefly discussed what a type 9’s characteristics are and what is an Enneagream. 

FAQ related to Enneagram Type-9 Relationships

What does a type 9 need in a relationship?

When it comes to being in love, nines tend to require safe environments that are free of judgement and that which allows them to be themselves.

They also need patience and warmth and desire supportive patentes that can keep them feeling loved.  

Are Enneagram 9s romantic?

Type 9s tend to be wallflowers, calm, caring personalities which makes them not as much of a flashy romantic but they care deeply and quietly. 

What are Enneagram 9 good at?

Due to their calming nature, type 9’s are good at things that require stability and consistency- meaning that they are good at things that require long term effort and also tend to be good nurtures and helpers. 

What is an Unhealthy type 9 in stress?

When 9s are stressed, they first become indecisive, passive aggressive, forgetful. They tend to shun decision making- avoid decisions, or they also become passive aggressive towards others, and tend to overlook details. 


Stafford.S. Enneagram Type 9 Love: How Enneagram Type Nine Falls In Love. Personality Growth. Jun 30, 2020. Retrieved on 4th January 2022. https://personalitygrowth.com/enneagram-type-9-love-how-enneagram-type-nine-falls-in-love/

Hardin. C. Enneagram Type 9 Relationship Compatibility. Truity. 29th October 2021. Retrieved on 4th January 2022. https://www.truity.com/blog/enneagram-type-9-relationship-compatibility

Owens.M. What is the Enneagram of Personality. Truity. Retrieved on 04th January 2022. https://www.truity.com/enneagram/what-is-enneagram

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