Fed up with life: 5 Steps to turn your life around

In this blog we will discuss what steps you can take to turn your life around if you are feeling fed up with life. 

Fed up with life: Steps to turn your life around

If you have been thinking to you self for the past few weeks “I am fed up with life”, here are a few steps that you can take to turn things around so that you actually enjoy your life:

  • Ask yourself what you want
  • Ask yourself what you have been doing
  • Evaluate what you have been doing
  • Make a plan of change
  • Challenge negative thoughts
  • Do things you enjoy
  • Reevaluate your Relationships
  • Make positive lifestyle changes
  • Consider therapy
  • Develop mindfulness,

For an individual to think to themselves that they are utterly fed up with their lives could be a sign that they are dissatisfied with what their life is in general. 

Life dissatisfaction

Life dissatisfaction, according to the writers at Toronto Psychologists, refers to a feeling of wanting and yearning for something else other than what you currently have. 

It has a lot to do with present life circumstances related to success and happiness meaning that it manifests in areas related to career success, marriage and relationship success, personal success, and how happy you are in all these areas of your life. 

Life dissatisfaction can affect one’s life and influence thoughts, feelings, and behaviours which ultimately impact your social lives, relationships,and performance at work. 

For example, if someone is diffused with their work they might lack motivation and underperform or if someone is dissatisfied with their romantic relationship it can affect communication and connection with their partners.

It is this dissatisfaction that is often the cause of someone feeling “fed up” with their lives- the desire to be elsewhere than here- present in their own lives- and this is because they are unhappy with the way things are. 

Let us look at a few things that one can do to overcome this feeling of dissatisfaction and engage with life with more intent:

Ask yourself what you want

The first thing that you can do is to ask yourself what you want in life or what you want that you believe is lacking in your career, your relationship, or whatever issue is making you feel such despair and dissatisfaction.

Take time to really reflect on what it is that you want- it doesn’t have to be something big; it could be something as simple as “I want some peace and quiet” or it could be something like “I want to feel loved.”

Take a notebook, write down what it is that you want- something that could make you feel less hopeless. 

Some other questions you can ask yourself are:

  • What do you want?
  • What do you want instead of the problem?
  • What do you want from counselling?

Ask yourself what you have been doing

Now, this might be hard to take but you have to understand that only you can turn your life around. 

While it is true that various circumstances in your life can be causing you much distress- for example; Your entire family comes to you for their needs which robs you of your peace or that your partner does not do romantic things for you. 

You have to understand that you also play a part in your current circumstances, so ask yourself what have you been doing to keep yourself from getting what it is that you want. 

It could be something like: “I have not been able to assertively tell my family that I need time to wind down from work before I listen to their issues.” or it could also be as simple as “I haven’t told my partner what is it that i like or want from them”

Some questions you can ask yourself as you take notice of what you have been doing so are include:

  • What are you doing, thinking, feeling in terms of getting what you want or in terms of how it is holding you back from what you want?
  • When you act this way, what are you thinking?

Evaluate what you have been doing

The next thing you can do is to evaluate what you have been doing so far and how it is impacting your life.

Here you take time to be honest with yourself and understand how much of what you are doing is affecting you versus how much you think the world around you is impacting your life. 

Ask yourself the following things:

  • Is what you are doing, helping you get what you want?
  • Is it taking you in the direction you want to go?

Make a plan

Once you have evaluated what you have been doing so far, the next thing you can do is to make a plan of action. 

This means that you create a plan to help you get what you want out of your life so that you are less miserable, less in despair and more motivated to create a life that you want.

Your plan should be small, measurable, achievable, realistic, tangible, and time bound. Make sure that your plans and goals are broken down into smaller goals and smaller plans and reward yourself when you achieve your targets. 

For example, if you have trouble saying no to your family and have a hard time setting boundaries- you can make a plan to proactive it with other people in your place of work first or amongst your friends first. 

Then you can set boundaries with each of your family members one by one instead of all together. 

Another example could be, you taking the time to learn how to communicate with your partner effectively and practising that with your friends or with your partner over small issues before working your way up towards what you really want from them.

Challenge your negative thoughts

When you come across a thought that is itries=ive and distressing, don’t suppress it or try to reject it. 

Instead acknowledge its existence in your mind and identify them for what they are- intrusive thoughts that are not really what you believe in, nor is it something that reflects your desire. 

Once you’ve let yourself be with these thoughts, replace these thoughts with something positive, something real. 

Take time to notice what is happening in the present. Instead of focusing on the what ifs, focus on what is and what you are doing at the moment and who you are in the present. 

Do things you enjoy

Now, it is crucial that you experience positive feelings in your daily life according to most positive psychologists. 

Positive emotions and experiences are very important for a person to feel better about their lives and their wellbeing. So try to do thighs that you enjoy and make it a priority on your list of daily things. 

Take the risk of trying out things that you have pushed aside for so long. This could be you playing with your childhood toys, painting something that you have always wanted to, spending time with your friends, etc.

The goal here is to make sure that you do something that brings you happiness, contentment. You might think to yourself- I don’t have time- here, the challenge is to prioritise yourself first and make time for yourself to enjoy your day. 

Re- Evaluate your friendships

Just as you have been reevaluating your choices and your behaviour- another thing that you can do is to reevaluate your relationships. 

Seek to understand what fulfils you and what costs you your happiness. Try to objectively identify who in your life gives you meaning and make an effort to invest into these relationships versus pulling  away from relationships that leave you drained out and empty. 

Here you might have to consider cutting out certain people and also making changes in your life to spend more time with those that truly support and empathise with you.

Seek to accomplish things

Another thing that you can do is to set yourself up to accomplish goals- small and big goals, for yourself or for your community that you are part of. 

Accomplishing goals or working towards accomplishing goals that you want to and that which are important to you will give you a sense of purpose and motivation. 

Let these goals be something that you truly believe in and work towards them while also rewarding yourself for every small step for achievement that you make towards your goals. 

Make positive lifestyle changes

Take care of yourself. Avoid drinking and doing drugs, instead eat a healthy diet that is full of nutrients and engage in exercise- this can be walks, joining the gym, or running a marathon. 

Make changes that benefit your physical health as well as allow you to engage with a positive crowd. If you think socialisation is not something you want to do, then there are plenty of exercises that you can do alone. 

Make sure you get good sleep by developing a healthy sleep hygiene as well. 

Focus on your strengths. 

Instead of spending your time on your negative thoughts or anticipating your intrusive thoughts, take time and effort to explore your positieve assets. Do this by journaling what strengths you have and this does not have to limit only to abilities but also innate strengths that a person has such as loyalty, civic sense, etc. 

Take time to develop an awareness of your strengths and appreciate yourself for them while also striving to build on these strengths and using them to overcome your challenges. 

Conclusion

In this blog we have discussed what steps you can take to turn your life around if you are feeling fed up with life. 

FAQ related to Fed up with life

Can you get fed up with life?

Yes. one can get fedup with life because they are unhappy about how things are going in their own lives. 

It has a lot to do with present life circumstances related to success and happiness meaning that it manifests in areas related to career success, marriage and relationship success, personal success, and how happy you are in all these areas of your life

Is it normal to get fed up?

It is very normal to get fed up with people, life, your work, your relationships- and this usually happens because of dissatisfaction.

It is this dissatisfaction that is often the cause of someone feeling “fed up” with their lives- the desire to be elsewhere than here- present in their own lives- and this is because they are unhappy with the way things are. 

What to do when you are fed up with your family?

If you are getting fed up with your family what you can do is to clarify your boundaries. Even if they are your family, healthy boundaries are important so that you are able to protect yourself as well as the family.’

Heaty boundaries dont cut out people; rather they help clarify needs, expectations, improve communication, and lead to overall good functioning with others.

Conclusion

Life Dissatisfaction. Toronto Psychologist. Retrieved on 3rd March 2022. https://www.torontopsychologists.com/life-dissatisfaction

Fed Up With Life? This Is how to feel better. Jullie Harris. Retrieved on 3rd March 2022. https://www.julia-harris.com/fed-up-with-life/

Tucker.J. 7 Steps to Overcome Daily Despair and Start Living Again. Tiny buddha. Retrieved on 28th feb 2022.https://tinybuddha.com/blog/7-steps-to-overcome-daily-despair-and-start-living-again/

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