What is non-platonic love?

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In this blog we present to you a brief description of what non-platonic love is.

We also discuss the characteristics of non-platonic love, it’s stages of development, and the differences between platonic and non-platonic love including a brief overview of the various kinds of love. 

What is non-platonic love?

Non platonic love refers to romantic love that involves either romantic or sexual attraction or both; it is the opposite of platonic love where there is no sexual or romantic feelings involved. 

When we consider non-platonic love we are referring to romantic love which involves infatuation and sexual attraction that gradually grows into a mature from of emotional connectedness, commitment, and passion. 

Romantic love is what is shared between romantic couples and it can either be a love that is passionate and intimate without the element of commitment or it can include commitment and intimacy without passion in some relationships where there are asexual indidvdiauls involved. 

What are the characteristics of non-platonic love?

Some of the characteristics of non-platonic love includes the following:

  • You feel excitement when you are around the person you have feelings for and this excitement is often caused by an increase in in dopamine and norepinephrine that lead to feelings of giddiness and excitement
  • You might also feel sexually attracted to them, lust after them due to the rise in sex hormones, such as testosterone and estrogen which can help cement your attraction.
  • You can’t stop thinking about them and often miss them even if you have just left their presence and constantly keep thinking about them.
  • There is a lot of optimism and openness to jew experiences that you have been feeling lately, a sense of happiness and excitement, and optimism about the future. 
  • You tend to prioritise them, and at times maybe too much and you tend to give a lot without accepting much in return. 
  • The sexual expeirnces you have with them is intense and there is passion and connection between you and your partner. 
  • As the relationship grows and you are able to connect with them more closely, you are able to feel secure with them and in their affection. 
  • You feel safe in being able to be yourself, express your opinions, and you are able to openly express your feelings. 
  • There is acceptance of each other and unconditional positive regard that is shared between you and your partner.
  • You feel deeply connected and both you and your partner are willing to work on the relationship to help it grow and flourish.

What are the stages of non-platonic love?

The various stages of non-platonic love includes:

Infatuation

Non-platonic love starts out with infatuation where the person feels exhilaration, passion, and elation when they are together. 

It is at thai stage where there is an activation of neurochemicals in the brain, such as dopamine and norepinephrine that make the individual giddy, energetic, and euphoric.

At this stage everything feels perfect and good, there are feelings of optimism and excitement, the couple tends to idealise each other and is constantly preoccupied with thoughts about them.

Disillusionment

As more time is spent with the person of interest, the individual goes through a stage of disillusionment where the reality of who the person is comes to light. 

Here the couple realises the true personality of each other and in some cases, the truth of each other’s interests and personality might be compatible as the couple learns to accept and work with each other to grow together as a couple.

However, in some cases, the disillusionment cannot be resolved due to individual differences in levels of emotional maturity leading the couple seperate. 

Mature Love

As the couple learns to accept each other, make changes, and grow together the couple can come to share a mature kind of love. 

Mature love is often found in committed relationships where there is a form of devotion and commitment to each other, the couple is together because they want to be together and not just because of desire. 

What is the difference between platonic and non-platonic love?

The main difference between platonic and non-platonic love is that non-platonic love includes feelings of sexual desire and romantic interest and is the feeling that one experiences with a prospective mate and partner. 

This form of love is shared between romantic couples and spouses. There is also the presence of intimacy and in most cases the element of commitment to each other. 

Examples of non-platonic love includes:

The feeling that you are “in love” where one has strong romantic feelings that is understanding, caring, protective, and all consuming. It can manifest in the desire to spend time with them, care for them, give them, support them, touch them, and plan a life with them.

Another form of non-platonic love is biologically harwaired into us which is physical or secual love. In this form of love, there is sexual attractiona nd experiences shared between people involved. 

On the other hand, platonic love refers to the attraction and intimacy one feels that does not include sexual feelings or attraction. This kind of love is usually found between friends.

There is intimacy shared between these people, emotional closeness, commitment to each other as friends, and there is also support that is shared in the form of unconditional regard. 

In some cases, platlnoci love can also include sexual expecies that are shared however in this case, there is no commitment and romantic interest in each other beyond sexual intimacy. 

Examples of platonic love include:

Friendship where one does love their friends in a platonic wat where one cares for them, supports them and are emotionally intimate with them. 

Friends are loved and are considered important however there is no romantic intent towards them, there is some extent of physical intimacy between people such as hugs, cheek kisses but without secual intent. 

Another example of platonic love is familial love where there are close and intimate relationships between family members; however , there are no romantic feelings for these people, but you do feel a type of connection that is different from people who are simply “friends.”. This kind of love is very relaxed and comfortable and a deep amount of trust there. 

What are the different kinds of love?

According to the ancient Greeks there are 7 different kinds of love that are universally experienced and known. These include:

Eros

Eros love refers to sexual and physical love that is passionate, and it is the closest description of romantic love. 

This form of love is named after the God of love “Eros” or “Cupid” and it described a love that is consuming and an important part of survival. 

This form is the love that couples experience during the beginning of their relationship or courting where they are infatuated with each other and deeply attracted to each other physically.

Philia

This kind of love refers to platonic love that is shared between friends or family members and it is based on mutual goodness and understanding. 

This form of love is trusting and dependable and shares emotional intimacy between people. It might also develop into eros love or exist on its own. 

Another kind of philla is that which is shared between family members like parents, children, or siblings and is known as Storage.

This kind of love involves deep trust, dependency, and familiarity and it is something that is present within the relationship between members of a family without actively choosing to feel this love. 

Agape

Agape love is used to describe a person’s relationship with God, or with things they appreciate and it is a form of pure and unconditional love.

It is an altruistic kind of love and is often marked by happiness that one feels that is beyond human experiences and often involves an appreciation for beauty and the experience of being alive.

Ludus

Ludus is a playful kind of love that is platonic. It is marked by its causal and fun characteristics that are present in the case of close friendships. 

It can be something that is shared between two young friends who have just met but are deeply connected and intimate with each other; however, this kind of platonic love is shared with friends who tend to grow and mature in time as the friendship lasts.

Pragma

Pragma is a kind of romantic love that is observed in relationships that has intimacy and commitment, it is the love one oberseves in a lreatinship that has transcendent physical need and sexual urges that is present in the begining of the relationship. 

It involves a sense of compatibility and steadiness that is built on mutual intimacy and connection alone. In this kind of life there is acceptance and commitment to remain together irrespective of differences in personality and interests. 

Philautia

Pjilautia refers to self-love and it is something that involves a deep inner struggle to attain. Self love is connected to confidence, self-esteem.

It has been assumed and backed by research that people who lack this kind of love often struggle with emotional and mental problems. 

Conclusion

In this blog we presented to you a brief description of what non-platonic love is.

We also discussed the characteristics of non-platonic love, it’s stages of development, and the differences between platonic and non-platonic love including a brief overview of the various kinds of love. 

FAQ related to non-platonic love

Can you be in love platonically?

Yes, when you are in love platonically, there is intimacy, commitment and emotional bonding with the person without romantic or sexual attraction. This is often observed in asexual realtionships or betwene friends. 

How do you know if a love is romantic or platonic?

The main difference between platonic and non-platonic love is that non-platonic love includes feelings of sexual desire and romantic interest and is the feeling that one experiences with a prospective mate and partner. 

On the other hand, platonic love refers to the attraction and intimacy one feels that does not include secxual feelings or attraction. This kind of love is usually found between friends.

What is a platonic girlfriend?

A platonic girlfriend refers to person with whom you share a relationship where there is intimacy, commitment and emotional bonding with the person without romantic or sexual attraction.

References

What Are The Different Types Of Love? Betterhelp. Retrieved on 17th March 2022. https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/love/what-are-the-different-types-of-love/

The Phases of Romantic Love. Verywellmind. Retrieved on 17th March 2022. https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-romantic-love-2303236

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