What are the signs that your ex is pretending to be over you?

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In this blog we list out signs that might indicate that your ex is pretending to be over you and what you can do about it. 

What are the signs that your ex is pretending to be over you?

Here are some signs that might indicate that you ex is pretending to be over you:

There are some mixed signals

It is possible that when you meet your ex in social settings and have a catch up they might mention that they are doing well, that they have moved on and are happy however their behaviour might seem otherwise. 

These kinds of mixed signals between what they are saying and what they are doing- their choices, behaviours, and their life after the break up could indicate they have not moved on from you. 

They are still angry about the break up

Another sign that they haven’t moved on is that they are angry when they talk to you or talk about you- it might not be outright and can include passive aggressive anger as well. 

They might say that they have moved on, they could be with another person as well however, if they have not resolved all their feelings, accepted the reality of the break up, it is possible that these unresolved feelings cna manifest in the form of anger. 

They blame you

While most relationships fail because both parties are responsible for the deteroritato of the relationship, if your ex has not yet moved on from the past and into their present they might still blame you for the break up.

While this could be because of their hurt feelings and does not necessarily mean that they are still in love with you, it could still be a sign that they are not over you as of yet. 

They’re keeping in touch with you.

If your ex is trying keep in touch with you, still messages you about nothing and everything under the pretence of settling things between both of you; for example- picking up their cloths and their things etc- it could be a sign that they are not over you yet 

The fact that they are still in touch with you could be an indication that they are having a hard time moving on because of the bond shared. 

They flirt with you.

If you notice that they are still flirting with you, complimenting you, and other signs that usually signal romantic interest- they could still be into you and are unable to move on. 

Fitting is an obvious sign of your ex pretending to be over you; they might flirt while at the same time say that they are no longer in love with you. 

They’re bringing up memories.

IF they spend time reminiscing over your old memories every time you spend time with them or have a conversation with them, it is possible that they have not moved on yet and are simply pretending to ve over you.

This might be in the form of doing things for “old times sake” or visiting old haunts, or just talking about the old times. While this could be a sign, this does not necessarily mean they still love you but that it could mean that they are finding it hard to move forward and they simply miss the relationship.

They’re sabotaging you.

Another possible sign is that your ex keeps getting in the way of possible romantic relationships with other people- they come in to sabotage dates, events etc as soon as they come to realise that you are interested in someone else. 

Their social media presence 

Another sign is their social media activity where if they keep posting about heartbreak or pain and feeling hurt etc- could be another sign. 

Or in some cases their activity might be out of character where they present themselves as overly happy and post things that are not necessarily their interests which could be an indication that it is all for show.  

They haven’t “publicly” acknowledged the breakup.

A possible sign that they are pretending to be over you and have not actually come to terms with the break up is that they have not acknowledged the break up publicly yet.

Your mutual friends might be supposed to hear about it because your ex has not mentioned it yet and their social media could possibly still have mentions of you that they have not taken down because they are still having a hard time with the break up. 

They try to make you jealous.

Sometimes when a person has not moved on from the relationship and their partner, they can be jealous and also try to make their ex jealous. 

So if your ex starts posting about another romantic interest all over social media or brings up the topic of their dates and other partners during random catch ups could be because they are trying to see how you react and this could be a sign that they have not moved on. 

What to do about it if your ex is pretending to be over you?

If you have been noticing that your ex has been behaving in all the ways mentioned above, it could be possible that they are just pretending to be over you when in fact that they have not come to terms with it. 

In the case that you are wondering what you should do, it completely depends on what it is that you want. Instead of focusing on them, focus on yourself and what you want,

If you believe that breaking up was the best decision for you and you no longer want to be with them, then there is nothing that you need to do. 

It is advisable that you do not look so deeply into everything that you ex do or do not do even if you notice that it is hurting them- instead you can focus on yourself because they will eventually be able to take care of themselves as well. 

In the case that your ex has reached out to you and they have mentioned how hard it is for them and that they are struggling, the one thing that you can do is to be empathetic while also being assertive about what you want as well. 

If you want closure, or you want them to back off and stop reaching out to you; the one thing that you can do is to have a conversation with them about it while being mindful enough to be able to set your boundaries in a respectful way. 

If you want to get back with them, it is best for both of you to discuss the relationship for what it was and what led to the break up. Taking time to communicate in a healthy way, openly, and set boundaries and resolve expectations is one way to go. 

Another thing for you to do in this case is for you and your partner to seek out couples therapy, if the goal is to get back together and give the relationship another try.


In this blog we discussed signs that might indicate that your ex is pretending to be over you and what you can do about it. 

Faq related to Signs your ex is pretending to be over you

What are the signs your ex wants you back?

Some signs that indicate that your ex want you back

  • They stay in touch. 
  • They’re jealous of new prospects
  • They open up about their feelings. 
  • They tell you that they want you back
  • They keep in touch with your friends and family. 
  • They want to know about your dating life. 
  • They want you to know about their dating life.
  • They often reminisce on the ‘good old times’ with you.
  • They follow your social media.
  • They haven’t made the break up public

How do I know if my ex has moved on?

Signs that your ex has moved on include:

  • Communication between the two of you ends- they longer reach out or make an attempt to reach out
  • Interactions Become Less Fun.
  • Interactions Become Less Awkward and the way they interact with you is very neutral.
  • They Get Serious With Someone Else.
  • They genuinely wish you well.
  • They don’t really follow you on social media anymore

How do you know when someone isn’t over their ex?

Signs they are not over their ex partner include:

  • They still keep photos and memorabilia like teddy bears and a token of the time they spent with their ex.  
  • They bring up their ex in conversations 
  • They make suggestions on how you should act based on how their ex did.
  • They suggest changes that you think are eerily similar to their ex partner
  • They keep in touch with their ex or their ex’s family.
  • They don’t post pictures of the two of you on social media.
  • They get defensive of their ex partner
  • They tend to still engage with their ex on social media
  • They tend to react when it has anything to do with their exes

What are mixed signals from an ex?

Mixed signals are usually in the form of hot versus cold behaviours that you get from someone, not only your ex. This means that they might appear to be all about you one minute and suddenly change their tune by ignoring your calls, staying away from you, not spending time with you etc.

 If you notice mixed signals from your ex, it is possible that they have not made up their mind about the relationship and are only reaching out because they feel lonely. 

Are Mixed signals a red flag?

If someone is giving you mixed signals about their intent to be with you for example, they are all about you in private, but are reluctant to introduce you to his or her friends or family- it is possible that this is not a good sign for the relationship. 

What you can do is to take action by communicating your feelings to them about how you are unhappy with the mixed signals and be assertive in telling them what you want. If they are able to clear it out and make changes, that’s good, however if there are no changes, its a red flag.


Regan.S. 12 Signs Your Ex Is Pretending To Be Over You & What To Do About It. Mindbodygreen. Retrieved on 2nd March 2022. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/signs-your-ex-is-pretending-to-be-over-you

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